Original Post: http://ishouldbelaughing.blogspot.com/2020/12/bobservations_24.html

Since Carlos went on disability, he has been doing translations for the local school districts and the occasional in-person translation for groups like DSS. This week, he had one scheduled for Monday, and since I wasn’t working that day, I played the Happy Dance card about having time at home by myself; that translation was cancelled … I died a little ,,, but was rescheduled for Tuesday.

As luck would have it, I was also off Tuesday and waited with glee … I kid or do I … for the DSS case worker to pick him up. She was late, and Carlos texted her that he could do the translation via phone, and that’s what they did. Another day, with some time to myself, shot to hell. I joked with Carlos that he could leave the house for at least two hours so I could have my alone time, and after his phone translation, he came into the living room, with his coat:’

“I’m leaving now.”

“Where are you going?”

“You wanted me out of the house, so I’ll just wander around the neighborhood for a couple of hours.”

“Okay … bye.”

He walked into the foyer and began putting his coat in the closet.

“Um, sweetie pie, the front door is that other door.”

“I’ll just stay in the closet for a couple of hours,”

“Why not? You spent your first twenty-five years in there.”

Never a dull moment!

It’s not really much of a struggle for Tuxedo, but he is doing his part and being very patrioti-cat.

Yellow, the man is yellow. As vice president, Michael Elizabeth Pence must preside over the session of Congress that will formalize Joe Biden’s Electoral College victory. And because he’s yellow, and afraid of what other ReTHUGlicans and MAGAts might do to him, the traitorous, goose-stepping, possibly closeted, little rat will scurry from DC right after.

I guess Mother likes her men with no balls?

Yes, we’re still hearing that _____ says he won’t leave the White House even though he’s an impeached,  lame-duck, one-term loser, so what shall we do?

Picture it: you have a job for four years., but then you get fired, and yet you show up ready for work. What would your bosses do? Have you escorted from the building? And your hooker wife, too?

Attorney L. Lin Wood filed a pro se lawsuit in Georgia federal court trying, again,  to overturn the will of the people and have _____ named the winner of that state’s General Election. Trouble is, like most _____lawyers, Wood is inept. Case in point: just before his signature block on the final page of the lawsuit is the following verification section:

“I declare and verify under plenty of perjury that the facts contained in the foregoing Verified Complaint for Declaratory and Injunctive Relief are true and correct.”

Plenty of perjury? Bitch, we already knew that.

David Werking, a forty-two-year-old man, was awarded $75,000 in damages from his parents, Beth and Paul, because they destroyed his porn collection.

Seriously. In 2016, a newly divorced David, moved into his parent’s home. A few months later, he moved out and when he got to the new place, he noticed he was missing twelve boxes of pornographic films, magazines, and sex toys. He checked with Mom and Dad, who said:

“Frankly, David, [we] did you a big favor by getting rid of all this stuff. That you would buy and watch films depicting such violence is beyond the pale. I have no words to express the depth of my shock and disappointment. Believe it or not, one reason for why I destroyed your porn was for your own mental and emotional health. I would have done the same if I had found a kilo of crack cocaine.”

Well, c’mon, Whitney told us that crack is wack, but she never said a word about porn, so David sued his parents and the court sided with him.

Just think of all the porn he can buy with 75K; and he’ll no doubt need it because, with this story out there, I imagine David will be spending most of his time alone, in the basement, with some lube and a box of tissues.

The idea that criminals stick together has never been clearer than it is this morning, with the news of new _____ pardons for cronies and war crimes.

He has pardoned his former campaign aide George Papadopoulos who pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI; he pardoned former US congressmen Duncan Hunter, who used campaign funds as income, and Chris Collins, who was convicted of inside trading; he pardoned Nicholas Slatten, Paul Slough, Evan Liberty, and Dustin Heard, the four Blackwater guards who murdered Iraqi citizens. He also pardoned Alex van der Zwaan, the Dutch lawyer who was sentenced to 30 days in jail after pleading guilty to lying to Mueller investigators; he pardoned two Border Patrol agents who were convicted in 2006 of shooting and wounding an unarmed undocumented immigrant and then covering it up. He also commuted commuting the remaining prison term of former Texas GOP Congressman, Steve Stockman, who was convicted by a jury in Texas of almost two dozen felonies, including fraud and money laundering.

Admitted criminals and murderers who all have one thing in common: they support _____.

PS My apologies to Dolly.

Jules Horn is a German model, who went from Industrial Mechanic to model at the ripe old age of twenty-four. He’s a health fiend; a vegan who starts every day with a seven-minute cold shower—just looking at his face and I could use a cold shower.

He’s both rugged and sophisticated; a night at the opera, a day on the ranch.

And briefly speaking, it’s a ‘Yes’ for me.

And any man who can rock a skirt or wear a frilly suit with a jock strap on the outside, or football pads, briefs, and a bird on his head, is the man of my dreams.

Or looks good wet, in clothes and out.

And had a bit of the exhibitionist in him.

That’s all … except Jules has three rules to live by: always be kind to everyone, set goals for yourself, keep your head on your shoulders and eyes on the stars. Hmmm, I could be exceedingly kind to him … and he is very goal-worthy … and, yeah, I’ll keep my eyes on him. He’s that kind of hot crunchy granola vegan meditating journaling loves to cook guys.

I could get behind that … or in front of it. Just sayin’.