I Ain’t One ToGossip, But …

Well, watch your children’s college applications because College Admissions Scam Criminal Lori Loughlin has done her time and is out of jail.

Sadly, because you know Lori was hoping for a mob of photographers, no one met her at the gate because the press is busy dragging another self-entitled delusional white bitch—see that story below—and Lori was met only by her chauffeur who took her to a private plane that whisked her back to her manse and staff.

Prison is hard for a bitch.

Lori will be on supervised release for two years and must complete 250 hours of community service. I hope they have her scrubbing toilets while wearing a generic ankle bracelet and orange jumpsuit.

On that same topic, her fellow College Admissions Scandal jailbird Felicity Huffman is out of jail and already back to work as an actress.

I think Lori will have a tougher time booking gigs since her image is wholesome Hallmark Aunt Becky and not prison bitch.

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Now, howsabout about that other delusional one-percenter I hinted at: Hilaria Baldwin? There have been rumors for years that Hilaria was lying about her past, and now the story has come to light.

She has claimed to be Spanish, hence the Hilaria, and even rocked a Spanish accent, albeit one that went in and out like a dick in a porn film, but is she really an American girl lying? No one ever talked about the escándalo until now, after a Twitter thread appeared—and has since disappeared—accusing Hillary of a decades-long lie about her Spanish origins.

Hilaria’s CAA page, her IMDb bio and her Wikipedia page claim she was born in Mallorca and later moved to America, and she said in a podcast earlier this year:

“I moved here [to America] when I was 19 to go to NYU from… my family lives in Spain, they live in Mallorca.”

Hilaria was on the cover of Hola! Magazine where she was identified as Spanish in both the interview and its press release, and husband Alec Baldwin often calls her ‘Spanish’ online. She’s made many appearances in Latina magazines where she refers to Spain as her “home.”

And here’s more: there are videos of Hilaria on a talk shows, like Good Morning America, where she spoke with a Spanish accent, to a Today show cooking segment where she acted as though she could not remember the English word for “cucumber.”

How do you say in your country? Lying hypocrite?

Last fall, Hilaria pushed the fashion brand Zara on her podcast, saying in that on-and-off accent of hers, that  she has loved the label since “before I was in this country.’’

Trouble is, Hilaria’s real name is Hillary, according to an old MySpace page, friends from her past, and school records. She attended private school in Massachusetts, and in her senior yearbook is listed as Hillary Hayward-Thomas. It’s similar to what Rachel Dolezal—the white woman who claimed to be black—did only Hillary wanted to be Spanish.

Well, now Hillary is defending herself in a bonkers new Instagram video in which she has no Spanish accent at all and claims all of her lies about her background just a misunderstanding, and she never misrepresented herself. Bitch, your husband called you Spanish; your agent called you Spanish; you actually uttered the line:

“How do you say in English? ‘Cucumber’.”

Bitch, please. But she still claims she grew up in Boston and Spain, even though there is no evidence that she spent more than a couple of years vacationing in Spain, and then admitted she was born in Boston as Hillary and has no Spanish ancestry.

Seriously, why? Why? And why Alec played along is crazy, too. He took to social media to trash the Twitter user broke the story of Hillary’s lifelong lie in a bizarre Instagram rant where he compared the truth-teller to “used coasters with the rings on them and the stains on them.”

Huh? Is that Spanish for something? Even Ireland Baldwin, Alec’s daughter from his marriage to Kim Basinger, defended Hillary:

“It’s so pathetic that anyone would want to play detective and dig that deep into someone’s life they don’t know anything about, don’t know how they were raised, don’t know who they were actually raised by.”

Is that pathetic, Ireland, or is it pathetic to lie and pretend you’re Spanish when you aren’t? Take a seat, Karen.

Alec reappeared on social media, again, and once more dragged the Twitter sleuth, telling the world to “consider the source.” We did, Alec, and the “source” is your wife’s American birth certificate.

Okurrrrrr.

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Finally, a movie I’m longing to see … Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum are set to star in a movie that sounds like a reboot with all new people of Romancing the Stone, but their film is called The Lost City of D. Sounds like a film where Sandra is on the hunt for Channing’s dick.

Funny, I’m on that same hunt and no one offered to have me star in a movie about it.

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